Tuesday 18 June 2013

Roll up, roll up - it's the One Woman Circus

There was a moment a few weeks ago when I realised something. I think it was as I caught sight of myself in the mirror doing an impromptu song and dance routine to distract one child from screaming for cake and the other from breaking the stereo. My hair was crazy, my clothes were dishevelled, I had no idea what was coming out of my mouth and the pots on the stove were surely about to explode. To say I looked ridiculous is an understatement. That’s when it hit me – I’m a flippin’ one woman circus.

Send in the clown
Like most mothers, I’m always juggling a million things at the same time, never knowing when a ball is going to drop (which it inevitably does). I know I should stop trying to do everything at once and focus on one thing at a time, but for someone like me this is impossible. Just too much stuff I've got to, or want to, get done.

Acting the fool is a daily event. Kids love it when parents act silly and often it’s the best way to prevent or deflect a tantrum, or cheer up a sad face. Frequently the clown 'acts' border on pure insanity, but hey, the little people can't stop cheering - even if they've just shoved food in my face and thrown water all over me.

Not sure how they (or my husband) feel about my appearance at the end of the day though. Make-up all wilted and garish, clothes covered in food and snot, and hair that has successfully unravelled into an uncontrollable ball of frizz. Yes, derelict Bozo has arrived in town.

Feelin' strong
Walking up the steps to my house carrying a kicking toddler under one arm, a baby on the other hip, six bags of groceries and a heavy nappy bag - I'm definitely channelling the Strongman. Who knew kids could be so heavy? Obviously they’re not carried all the time, but when your two year-old decides to stage a protest by planking on the pedestrian crossing, there’s no other choice but to pick them up - even if your hands are full and you feel like death. Mums don’t need to lift weights to sculpt their guns, just a child nugget or two.

The wild bunch
When the mood strikes them, little children can be like wild animals. After you’ve tried every trick in the book sometimes the only thing to do is call in the Lion Tamer. Reason is long gone and the last resort is to adopt a low, soothing tone and coax them back from psychosis, often waving a tasty snack like a raw steak to a big cat. Whether it's the real moggy in the house or the kids, animal wrangling is definitely a skill I now possess.

Hairy hoopla
It’s hard to find the time for personal grooming – dedicated beauty regimes went out the window long ago. I’m not quite the Bearded Lady (face is fuzz free thank goodness), but I'll admit sometimes there can be a bit of time between bikini and leg waxes. And trapeze artists and acrobats, stand aside. Most days I feel like I'm the one jumping through hoops, performing a balancing act or bending over backwards to get something done. Hell, I’m even the Ringmaster running this freak show. And it doesn't matter how tired or sick I get, because the show must go on, always.

Ok, so it can get pretty nutty here under the big top, but who doesn't love a little crazy in their life? Sure is a whole lota fun.

Do you feel like you live in a circus? Let your freak out here...

photo credit: gnatallica via photopin cc


  1. Love it, Suz! I am also the lowly soul who gets to clean up all the poo and pick up popcorn from the floor at the end of the day! Welcome to the blogosphere, babe!

  2. Susan, That was a lovely way of describing our lives as mothers! It is a crazy time, and if more of us threw discipline to the wind here and there and played the fool, life might be a little easier for the whole family. Nice imagery!


Thanks for sharing your two cents with One Woman Circus!