Friday 26 September 2014

Jump up jump up and get down

I'm what you call a jumper. Not the pullover/sweater kind, or a teleporter - I'm someone who literally jumps out of their skin and shrieks when 'startled' which is all the time, by almost anything. I don't need Kris Kross to make me jump, I just need my husband to walk into the kitchen and it's aaahhhh!

We live together and have done so for years now so you'd think I'd know it was him coming into a room and not an axe murderer (especially if we've just had dinner together). But no...aaaahhh! And sometimes we're even in the same room together and he'll come up beside me to ask a normal question like 'where's my wallet?' and suddenly I'm front row at a House of Pain concert screaming like a loon.

Not getting the idea? This short Catherine Tate clip will spell it out for you:

My husband thinks it's absolutely ridiculous, and it is. How can I get so surprised, all the time? It was even more stupid when we lived in a small apartment with one point of entry and absolutely nowhere for intruders to hide.

I don't even know if that's what I'm afraid of to be honest. I have no idea what sets me off. It doesn't even have to be a person, often it's just sudden noises. Our cat's even got me a few times! And now? It's the children.

I walked into the laundry the other day and when I turned around my youngest was right there and I let out a scream so shrill I almost scared myself. The look on his face was complete bewilderment and fear. I instantly hugged him and hurridly explained that mummy just got a fright so all was soon good again, but I felt so bad. It's not as if I didn't expect it, he's always trailing my heels wherever I go.

Maybe I've just seen one too many horror movies...

So if you're ever thinking of coming up behind me to cover my eyes and say 'surprise!' - I'd think again. I may just blow your eardrums out and punch you in the face.

Are you or do you know a jumper?

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