Tuesday 20 August 2013

When gluttony becomes necessity

I am carnivore, hear me roar.

In case I'm not being clear enough, I love eating meat. I absolutely can't stand anything from the sea, so to make up for what I'm missing out on there I go nuts on tasty turf tucker. Burgers, ribs, steaks, roasts, chicken wings, sausages, schnitzel - you name it, if it's meatastic I'm all over it.

Not surprisingly my favourite type of restaurant to frequent is a steak or grill house - you know, the kind where you get a giant wooden board instead of a plate; cutlery that looks like medieval weapons; and a sexy bib to wear so you don't mess up your clothes? Lately I've been thinking about them even more though because of this horrible elimination diet I'm on at the moment. Planning my first meal out after it's over has become an obsession. I can't wait to get the green light and pick up the phone and make a booking for date night.

I have one major problem though. The last time I went to a grill joint it made me sick. Really sick. And it wasn't just me.

My husband and I both ate like maniacs and then blew up like Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. After rolling ourselves home and assuring my mum who was babysitting that I wasn't pregnant, we dosed up on peppermint tea to try and stop the tummy aches, but unfortunately for me it wasn't enough. A few hours later I was looking at a re-run of my dinner in the toilet. Agh.

So who or what was to blame for this? Me the glutton, or grill house the provider? I'm pinning it on the restaurant but not for the reason you're probably thinking.

It's true, we both ate like pigs when we could have controlled ourselves. Initially we got stuck in because the food was so darn tasty, but then we couldn't stop eating even though we felt sick, simply because we couldn't bear to see the food go to waste. I couldn't stop thinking about the animals that had died to be on my plate. Yes they were delicious, but they were all going to be scraped into a bin because I couldn't fit everything in. Or could I..?

These grill places have a reputation for serving up monster meals to rival caveman days - it's their trademark gimmick right? At first I thought it was awesome - wow check out how much food! Now I know better. It's not cool on a number of levels.

Starting with the portions, they're all WAY too big. Even the so-called petite steak or half-rib options are still massive, and you never order those anyway because you've been sucked into the 'bigger is better' meat-fest you've walked into. But unless you're Andre the Giant, you're never going to get through that much meat.

I shudder thinking about the amount of food that is thrown out at the end of the night at these establishments. I bet it's at least double or triple the usual restaurant amount. What about the poor animals that died for no reason? What about the starving millions in the world? What about the impact on landfill? What about our wallets??!

They of course also charge a beastly arm and a leg for these sasquatch meals, which leads me to think it's all about mega profit for these restaurateurs. A name around town for ridiculously huge meals and...ker-ching!

Shame on you, you naughty, irresponsible, wicked, but oh so delectable, steak houses. Tone it down in terms of size and cost and I just might forgive you. Just.

So back to my restaurant date. What do I do? Book in for a grill session and risk getting mocked when I go halvers with the hubby? Or maybe I should boycott it altogether and go Mexican instead. Whatever the choice, at least I know there'll be some kind of meat on the menu.

Grill houses - awesome and delicious, or wasteful and expensive?

photo credit: Clover_1 via photopin cc

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