Tuesday 26 November 2013

Why I'm hiding my pink bits

"Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?"

Yep that's right, today I'm talking about my vagina. And my boobs. And my bum. Basically they're my pink bits and I've decided to get a tad selective about who gets to see them.

It dawned on me recently that in addition to my kids (who have no bathroom boundaries), and my husband (who of course has front row tickets anytime he wants), there are a bunch of strangers who regularly get to see my privates. There's my GP, the chick who does my laser hair removal, massage therapists (bum only) and the spray tan lady to name a few - and that's nothing compared to when you're pregnant, giving birth or breastfeeding (that's a flesh free-for-all).

So when it's time to get changed after my son's swimming lessons, I'm the idiot hiding under a towel awkwardly dressing and trying not to flash anyone. Because I just don't fancy letting it all hang out yet again in front of some more strangers.

Hairy backs aren't the only thing down at the pool - tits and fannies are in abundance in the changerooms. Usually it's the European and South American mums standing next to me in the buff showing off their muff (which I try not to look at as they chat away with not a care in the world). I know these are mums with their children, and no one is deliberately eyeing up other women (I hope!), but count me out please. 

It's not like I'm a Never Nude - and I'm certainly no prude. I went to an all girls school and grew up in a house of frequent nudity (I'm one of three girls), so have never been shy with getting changed around other females. But now I'm getting older I've decided to limit the amount of front row viewings.

I'll be the first to admit my bits don't look as good as they used to, but I think it might have more to do with the fact that I'm a mother now and mums aren't supposed to get their bits out...right? What with medical and beauty appointments, it's more than one woman can handle. So yeah, keeping the towel on thanks!

Are you a Never Nude or do you let it all hang out?

Photo credit: Arrested Development Wiki

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